Fortunes
Fortunes can be bought at Billy Crane's Traveling Carnival for 25 cents. Most of the fortunes seem to be negative, though a select few are positive or logical. A few fortunes show reference to things in the game. List of Fortunes Fortunes do not appear in this order, they are generated in random order. *''80% of people consider themselves above average.'' *''A bird in the hand is better than a bird on the roof, unless it has really sharp claws.'' *''A house without a toilet is uncanny.'' *''All signs point to: no chance.'' *''A man's home is his castle, only less resistant to catapults.'' *''Avoid taking unnecessary gambles. Lucky numbers: 12, 32, 28, 31, 44.'' *''Bad advice causes mistakes, then laughter.'' *''Before you act, check with your mother.'' *''Being rude is no substitue for being right.'' *''Beware of angry men carring weapons.'' *''Big words prove nothing except that you have a big mouth.'' *''Boxing is a gentleman's sport, but only if gentlemen play it.'' *''Bully is as bully does.'' *''By swallowing evil words unsaid, no one has ever harmed his stomach.'' *''Confession is good for your soul but bad for you reputation.'' *''Consider a career in politics.'' *''Consider the possibility that no one likes you.'' *''Consider this: no turkey ever voted for an early Christmas.'' *''Consider trying less hard.'' *''Don't be so self-centered.'' *''Don't blow out another's candle to make your shine brighter.'' *''Don't forget to change your socks.'' *''Don't mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.'' *''Don't trust fortune tellers.'' *''Do not argue with the person packing your parachute.'' *''Do not throw glasses if you live in a stone house.'' *''Do you know who your friends are?'' *''Everything is not yet lost.'' *''Facts don't stop existing just because they're ignored.'' *''Forgive your enemies - it really annoys them.'' *''Get a life.'' *''Get over yourself. Jerk.'' *''Good luck. You'll need it.'' *''Have you considered running away from your problems?'' *''Have you considered getting plastic surgery? You should.'' *''Help! I'm trapped inside this machine!'' *''If at first you don't succeed, consider giving up.'' *''If life gives you lemons, give life a raspberry.'' *''If life gives you lemons consider going into the citrus business.'' *''If people flatter you they're probably lying.'' *''If you're a real jerk all the time, people might not notice you're useless.'' *''If you're on high cliff, don't jump to conclusion.'' *''If you don't succeed, you run the risk of failure.'' *''If you expect nothing, you won't be disappointed.'' *''If you go camping, beware of evil intent.'' *''If you live in a glass house, change in the basement.'' *''If you need to get the point, sit on a tack.'' *''If you put your face in fruit drink, you might get punch in nose.'' *''If your house is burning you might as well try to stay warm.'' *''In later life, you will find somewhere you fit in and belong. Jail.'' *''Isn't it about time you got a job?'' *''It's a good time to stop waffling. Maybe.'' *''It's hard to prophecy, especially about the future.'' *''It's only going to get worse.'' *''Just give up.'' *''Just imagine you'll succeed.'' *''Keep trying.'' *''Let's hope you will grow into your face.'' *''Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes.'' *''Never test the depth of the water with both feet.'' *''No one likes a whiner.'' *''No plan survives contact with the enemy. Plan accordingly.'' *''Nothing is impossible for a man who doesn't have to do it himself.'' *''Peeing your own pants only keeps you warm for a short while.'' *''Regular showers are a good thing.'' *''Right now, somewhere out there, someone is making out with a girl.'' *''Running behind a car is exhausting.'' *''Stand up to be seen. Speak up to be heard. Shut up to be appreciated.'' *''Stay home, read a book.'' *''The answer to your question is: maybe.'' *''The greatest danger could be your own stupidity.'' *''The pen is mightier than the sword, especially if properly sharpened and in the hands of a well trained ninja.'' *''There's never time to do it right, but there's always time to do it over.'' *''The reality is: the customer is not always right.'' *''The weather pays no attention to criticism.'' *''They say they're your friends, but they laugh at you behind your back.'' *''Those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.'' *''Today, tell someone you love them. You might get lucky.'' *''To err is human, to blame someone is even more so.'' *''To know nothing is bad. To not wish to know anything, worse.'' *''Tomorrow will be a nice day.'' *''Travel broadens the minds, if you have one to begin with.'' *''Two wrongs do not make a right, but 3 lefts do.'' *''What exactly is your problem?'' *''What you really need is some sort of medication.'' *''When in charge, think. When in trouble, delegate. When in doubt, mumble.'' *''When things go wrong, don't follow along.'' *''You're doomed. Sorry.'' *''You're not all that.'' *''You're not as dumb as you look. That would be impossible.'' *''You're not paranoid - everyone really does hate you.'' *''You're smart and handsome, just like your mom always says you are.'' *''You're wasting your life.'' *''You are almost there.'' *''You can't have everything. Where would you put it?'' *''You might as well keep trying. It might make you feel better.'' *''You need a haircut.'' *''You should go to bed early tonight.'' *''You will be involved in a fight soon.'' *''You won't get anywhere if you think you're already there.'' Category:Billy Crane's Traveling Carnival